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a-better-ghost:

She had a heart too easily broken,
As her blue eyes searched for soul;
She’d rather take the blade, then pick up a pen.
Fingers tangled in her hair,
The tears she loosed were met
With indifference.

She’d scream out,
“God, I’m not meant for this place, take me now”.
She’d scream out,
“Lover if you could save me,
Maybe I could trust you then”

And they all just looked at her,
Into those deep blue eyes,
And they’d all just shake their heads,
Thinking of the mess.

“Lover if you don’t trust me now,
How could you love me, then?”

Two steps back from the puddle,
she had made herself out to be,
Four more for the pain of being held so desperately.
Hand on a locked door,
And her spirit’s bashing at the window.

She’d scream out,
“God, I’m not meant for this place, take me now.”
She’d scream out,
“Lover if you could save me,
Maybe I could show you how.”

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a-better-ghost:

macabre.

Lately it’s been bothering me that I seem so self-loathing. Any time something negative happens to me, I immediately accept it as “oh okay, I deserve that.” I deserve to get hurt, I deserve to be forgotten, I deserve to lose my friends, I deserve it all. I’m not really sure where all of this came from- WHY do I deserve all these terrible things? I can’t really think of anything I did to accumulate this much bad karma… so where the hell did this start? I don’t remember ever not having this mindset, I’ve always thought that I am a terrible person, even though I don’t really do many terrible things… I don’t know.
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a-better-ghost:

I’ll fuck you
until my name is imprinted on the roof of your mouth
your tongue can’t help to say please
please
please
with my skin under your nails
you’ve tried so hard to not let go
but muscles have limits

my love does not.

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a-better-ghost:

My ears are screaming
And my
Eyes can’t focus
But I still believe
You are the best thing to happen
To a sad lost soul like me
You are
The girl of my dreams
Even if I drown myself in whiskey
And self pity
Every day
Even if
I can’t believe you’d even look this way
Somehow you manage to stand by me
And somehow
You’ve managed
To still love me
When I do nothing but ruin
Every good thing set
In front of
Me
And insult every friend
You introduced to me

Drunk love at its finest
I hope you still love me at
My AA meetings
Because
I can’t
Promise
They’re too far away.

I love you
But it runs in my veins
I’m sorry
But you can’t help genetics baby
I’ll
Drink as long as someone else pays
And the drinks keep appearing
Though I don’t remember ordering them
I’ll drink
Til
The bill runs dry
Or you leave.

I love you
And I want to be better than the future that
Was laid out before me
But self fulfilling prophecies
Are intimidating
And I hope that I can resist
The failure within me.

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a-better-ghost:

don’t you hear me
I’ve said your name a thousand times before
not one time sounded like the last
while I tried to find the character
that fit
you

what frequency
do you tune into
what sounds make your skin
crawl, your ears bleed
I’m not sure if I’m music
or cacophony

I’m dropping glasses
like it’s the bass of
your heart beating
maybe the shards in your skin
will remind you to listen
closer

because I’ve been saying
the same things over
and
over

are my effects not good enough?
are you affected or inflicted
if I chew on metal
until my voice
is a messy fountain
spewing
the things I’ve been trying to tell
you

what frequency
do you tune into
what sounds make your skin
crawl, your ears bleed
I’m not sure if I’m music
or cacophony.

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a-better-ghost:

enlightenment is hiding under the tip cup.
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a-better-ghost:

amnesia.
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a-better-ghost:

revolutions.
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a-better-ghost:

she belongs next to me;
I can’t stand things out of place.

it’s an itch I can’t scratch,
it’s a hole I can’t fill,
it’s a kiss I can’t have.

believe me,
I’m stretching,
but
I cannot reach.

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a-better-ghost:

hollow notes.